A Thin Person Responds to Nicole Arbour

by reeger on September 9, 2015


A Thin Person Responds to Nicole Arbour-3


I’ve attempted to avoid the whole Nicole Arbour  “Dear Fat People” thing. In general, 99% of the time I do not respond to hatefulness, whether it’s on the internet or elsewhere because I know that people who spew this kind of hatred are just energy vampires who feed off of other peoples responses, no matter whether they are positive or negative. Life is hard enough without feeding the haters, ya know?

But then I remembered a quote by Sir Ian Kershaw: “The road to Auschwitz was built by hate, but paved with indifference.”

Nicole Arbour, you can choose to hate. But I cannot, I will not, choose to be indifferent to your hatred.

I am a family nurse practitioner. I work with people affected by obesity. It is what I have chosen to do with my career. I could speak to you about the science of the disease of obesity but I can already feel your eyes rolling. In my experience, people like you don’t want to understand. You’re a smart woman, you said so in your video. Therefore, if you wanted to learn more about the disease called obesity, you could have easily stepped out of your kiddie pool of shallow stereotypes and jumped into the grown-up pool called the science of obesity. But you didn’t, so I won’t go there either.

In fact, rather, than talk about obesity, I would like to focus on you, Nicole. Because, in all honesty, really, I feel badly for you. It’s not pity. It’s more like, wow, you’re a really unhappy person. You see, judgement starts from within. We judge others where we are most vulnerable.

As human beings, when we see something that triggers our own deep-seated vulnerability and shame, rather than heal that part of ourselves that is wounded, we deflect and project that discomfort out onto others, in hopes that through denigrating them, we can elevate ourselves, but it’s always at their expense. That’s what bully’s do. Plainly stated, you’re a bully, Nicole Arbour, not a comedian. And the fact that one of your stated targets of bullying hatred was towards a child? Oh man. You must be a deeply, deeply wounded person.

All of this is to say, I see you. My hope in all honestly, is for your healing. Really. I hope you can see that the more you target your perception of imperfections and flaws on others, the more all you are really doing is demonstrating how wounded you are within. You targeting your anger towards people, including children, affected by obesity won’t help. It won’t help them. It won’t help you. People affected by obesity are not your jail keepers to a healthier, happier you. Nicole, you are your own jail keeper. Until you understand this, you will continue to be a prisoner of your own making. And you will continue to blame others for your malcontent. But it’s not about them. It’s about you. I hope one day you can heal enough to see that.

One final thought. I am a thin person. I have always been a thin person. If you knew a thing or two about the disease of obesity you would know that just because I’m thin does not mean I eat perfectly and exercise all the time, but the inverse is also true, just because a person is affected by obesity does not mean they don’t eat well and don’t exercise all the time. And in case you did not already guess it, from one thin person to another, your hatred towards people affected by obesity, does NOT represent me. In fact. I would much rather sit next to the boy on the plane than sit next to you. But clearly, I’m not your kind of people. Not only will I not help you build your road of hate, but I won’t stand around and pretend you’re not doing it. I will not be indifferent.

I hope you won’t be either. My advice- choose love over hate, choose compassion over blame and shame, starting with yourself.
I believe in you.

Reeger Cortell, FNP

{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

michael taylor September 9, 2015 at 11:46 pm

No truer words were said reeger thank you once again for saving my wife life and to all others that have been saved god bless


reeger September 28, 2015 at 3:30 am

You are welcome! Together we are ALL made stronger : ) Reeger


Nancy September 10, 2015 at 1:33 am

Very well said Reeger!!!!


reeger September 28, 2015 at 3:30 am

Thank you! Reeger


Michelle Kaufman September 10, 2015 at 1:43 am

You had me at the quote; it was chilling.

I always find myself seeing one of these haters and getting so frustrated that I have to go to another page immediately or write out a comment and then delete it because I don’t want to feed them. I would call these people trolls, but they aren’t doing it to simply cause problems, they’re doing it because they also believe in it. But that quote and the rest of your podcast will stick with me when the outrage machine turns out a new controversy, whether it be body acceptance, sexism, racism, or homophobia.


reeger September 28, 2015 at 3:32 am

Thank you for letting me know that this episode touched you and helped you. That warms my heart. Reeger


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